October 2016 Newsletter
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've always imagined." - Henry David Thoreau
Are You Planning Your Life as Well as Your Vacation?
So summer is over and fall has begun. By now most of us have settled into our routines of getting our children back to school, beginning our fall activities, and reorganizing our work and career goals. Summer travel, vacations, and family reunions have come and gone.
We reflect on the time and energy spent in planning our vacation. We told ourselves "I deserve this vacation. I have worked hard all year. I've earned this." So we began by planning our time off; exploring possible destinations, making airline, cr, and hotel reservations. Creating an itinerary of activities that also require booking and confirmation ahead of time.
Are You Living Your Desired Life?
As you reflect, are you mindful of the effort and energy you put into planning your vacation; do you recognize a lack of planning, energy and effort put into your life? Do you create weekly, monthly, or annual goals?
How would you live your desired life? Do you take time to recognize your passions? Do you take the steps necessary to bring your dreams to fruition? Are you as detailed with your life goals as you are with your vacation itinerary? Do you think about upcoming challenges and projects and proactively work towards meeting deadlines?
In your work or your personal life, are you living the life you imagined? To live passionately, joyfully, authentically, with a well thought out plan, week to week, month to month, year to year?
Are you meeting emotional barriers with uncertainty? Do you need a thought partner to support you in developing a plan? I can assist you in determining if therapy or coaching would best meet your needs. I can be contacted by phone or email for a free consultation.
July 2016 Newsletter
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
Time Heals All Wounds -- Or Does It?
The New Normal
Most of us have dealt with loss in one way or another during our lifetime. What I mean by loss does not only apply to the passing on of a beloved family member, friend or pet. Loss can also be representative of loss of a relationship, which includes divorce. If there are children involved, it will bring about transitions in parenting. It could also include the loss of employment, changes due to moving to a new location or any other changes that are impacting your life.
Does the Following Sound Familiar?
Are you noticing that you are keeping yourself busy to avoid painful feelings? Are you going through the motions of your day to day life while mentally shut down? Are you numbing your emotions through unhealthy means? This type of passage of time does not heal.
Are you unsure how to remove the emotional obstacles or mental blocks that inhibit you from dealing with losses in your life? How mch time will you allow to go by before you recognize that time does not heal all wounds?
Does Time Heal?
Time does have healing properties; it may take the edge off of pain, however it is best used when you take the time to do your inner work, by shaping your life, instead of avoiding what you instinctively know needs to be done. I recommend that you stop running away or distracting yourself from the problem believing it will "fix itself" with time.
You Have Work To Do
It is important to be mindful; slow down, pay attention, be appreciative and aware of what's happening for you within and outside of yourself. Notice how change is manifesting in your life. The energy that you expend when holding on to your pain can instead by utilized to make positive changes and truly heal from your wounds.
If yu are looking to improve your life, I have the professional knowledge to support you through this process of change and growth by implementing therapeutic means (counseling sessions) or life coaching strategies that enable you to become empowered in all areas of your life.
May 2016 Newsletter
"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
4 Tips for Effective Parenting
Are your parenting responsibilities overwhelming you? Have you tried to establish a parenting plan to co-parent with your spouse, partner or ex-spouse?
Do you feel that your kids do not take you seriously; you give up and give in? Are you worried that you will never gain control and be able to meet present and future goals?
Trying to figure out and manage a daily routine seems impossible; preparing nutritious meals, carpooling the kids to their activities, fulfilling the volunteer obligations associated with their activities, and then getting your kids to settle down and do their homework after a busy day? You recognize the importance of instilling morals and values, and teaching your children what you find to be important in life?
What has your inner voice been telling you for so long? Do you have an idea of what you want but have been unable to organize your thoughts and make the time to keep up with the demands of parenting? Do you feel derailed in the process?
Tip #1: Follow Through – Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say.
Tip #2: Although you may believe your kids don’t listen to you, they are paying attention to your actions and behaviors.
Tip #3: Remember as your children grow, the level of independence they desire will increase over time. They also need the security of knowing they are loved and accepted within their family system. Ruth refers to this as One Foot In The Door, One Foot Out The Door.
Tip #4: Recognize the value in the bond you have built over time with your young adult children. Supporting them as they launch into an independent life, listening to what is important to them. Remembering that excuses by you for them is not beneficial at any stage of development.
Ruth can support you in finding your strengths, lifting the fog, and to gain clarity; removing obstacles that can then lead to enjoyment, relaxation and successful family life.
Call Ruth – let’s get started and plan how to make this happen. She has worked with parents and children of all ages, including young adult children. She has worked with traditional and non-traditional families, keeping in mind the best interest of the child.
Ruth believes it is important for children to understand their value within their family system, learning acceptance of self and others and to manage their responsibilities in alignment with their developmental stage. She is a parent of 2 young adult children who still need guidance as they gain their independence. She has co-parented as a married and as a divorced individual, moving through the challenges of changing family dynamics. Let’s get started today!
April 2016 Newsletter
The therapist or coach is seen as the expert in their field, but you are the expert in your own life.
“Is this really for me?”
Sometimes we have gathered the idea that we need to figure things out for ourselves – that having the support of an unbiased individual, professional, coach, or therapist is not something we need in life. If we need help through challenges, our family should be there. However, those thoughts can be misguided in certain situations. Your family may not have the expertise a therapist or coach has to offer.
How the Process Begins
The first step is to contact Ruth either by phone, email, or complete an online contact request form at ruthlynch.com (Therapy) or planned-excellence.com (Coaching). She offers a no-charge in-person first session or a no-charge 20-30 minute phone session, whichever is the best fit for you.
Ruth is licensed to provide therapy in the state of California. As a Personal and Executive Coach she can provide services in any state or internationally.
Your First Session
Once you have made contact, you can share your most pressing issues, then both you and Ruth can evaluate if this is a good fit to meet your needs. Ruth’s goal is for you to have the ability to trust and know that there is no judgment. At the end of the session, she will give you her feedback, allow for your questions and a mutual decision can be made in regards to moving forward with sessions.
Ms. Lynch’s experience and feedback from clients is that her style of relating is interactive and dynamic, giving guidance and creating questions which provoke thought. She comes from a place of warmth and understanding, knowing that each of us as individuals have challenges in our lives where it is essential to have objective and supportive feedback.
Training and education are important to Ruth and she values being client-centered to assist in meeting the needs of her clients. You will find that she is attentive and engaged in your process, growth, and movement towards your goals.
March 2016 Newsletter
Coaching is about meeting the client's expectations.
The coaching-client relationship is built on trust.
“Is there anything to this coaching?”
“Does it really help?”
Coaching is not a fad and has been around for centuries. Just ask an athlete who has a coach to enhance performance. Any individual could increase their productivity and learn ways to do this in a short amount of time. The coaching client gains self-understanding and recognizes opportunities to stay goal-oriented and be aware of obstacles that have most likely detoured them from a higher level of performance in the past.
There are many benefits to executive coaching. A high percentage of managers have reported that coaching enhances team morale. It should be available to all employees. By doing so, employees have an increased understanding of their responsibilities and how to achieve them. A coach, also known as a thought partner, can also aid the client in goal creation and ideas that will enhance their ability to remove obstacles and move forward more effectively and efficiently.
Sometimes we have a vision of our ideal family – what we dream or think about when our children are young may go off track due to life events and daily stressors, which can get out of hand. Your family may be intact, you may be separated/divorce and sharing custody, or have one parent who travels a lot for business. How do you get back on track with your family goals? This is where coaching comes into play. A coach can help you identify your strengths, value, and vision for your family and a coach is there to assist you in holding yourself accountable to reach your goals.
Relationships can be difficult for individuals to navigate. Your past dating experiences may have lead you to wonder “why bother?” If your relationships have ended in disappointment and if you are ready to create the opportunity to meet your life partner, a coach can assist you in determining your strengths and explore how you see yourself with others. A relationship coach will support you in navigating what you truly want in your life, what your vision is for your future and how a like-minded partner can compliment your core values. The coach will encourage you on your path, helping to identify the answers you have within yourself.
The “perfect” partner may not fall into your lap or how you go about meeting them may not be as you had envisioned. The coaching relationship will allow you to take the necessary steps to create situations which allow connections to happen. You may find that you need to re-evaluate ideas that promote your growth for a successful relationship outcome.